After work, as I was washing the dishes, I listened to "The Essence of Parenting" on Millie's Library in MP3 format. It must've been the epilogue. Professor Ji Na-young discussed her own journey, undergoing infertility treatments, and even with all her efforts, the sorrow she felt at not being able to enjoy the blessings of a child. She confessed to her mother,
"Mom, I was so sure I could raise a child well... I wanted to bring a child into this world who looked like me and let them live freely, treating the world as their own playground."
To which her mother replied,
"We don't have children to raise them well. Children don't always turn out the way we want them to. We don't have them to raise them the way we wish."
And then she added, "We have children to love them."
That phrase, "We have children to love them," struck a chord in me as I was mindlessly doing the dishes. My wife is someone who tears up easily. On the other hand, I'd often joke, "Why is a man crying?"
Every day, I'd tease her for crying so often. But as our child's birth approached, I seemed to become more emotional. If my wife saw me like this... 😱 Anyway, I often accessed parenting blogs, YouTube channels, and occasionally listened to parenting-related books. While consuming this content, my predominant thought had been,
"How can I best raise our child? How can I ensure they don't fall behind others?"
But hearing that phrase in the mother's dialect-rich voice on Millie's Library MP3 reminded me of my childhood and made me reflect deeply. I wondered if I had been planning to raise our unborn child by only my standards.
From the moment they come into this world, they deserve absolute respect just for their very existence. Their autonomy also deserves respect. As parents of our child, we should practice unconditional love while also setting a good example as adults.
I must never forget this as I approach parenting. A child nurtured with love develops a strong sense of self-worth. With this self-worth, they can pave their own way in life, and they can rise again even in the face of failure and despair. Therefore, showering a child with boundless love seems to be the best educational method.
Reflections on March 31, 2023.